I'm angry because she doesn't take care of herself. I'm angry because she's 81, has heart problems and diabetes and she still eats like consequences does not exist, canned soups (not low sodium either) adds table salt if necessary, still cooks by frying, and eats all kinds of sweets. (Sometimes she forgets to hide them and replace the candy dish with the sugar free version when we visit) and lastly, I'm angry at her because she still has beer in her fridge and thinks she can hide that too.
My mom is a beautiful person, she's had a real, tough life, but she's never had any self-esteem or ambition. I am ambivalent, I feel for what she has gone through and her wasted life (in her eyes) and I resent her for pulling me into her alcoholism world at such a young age, (I was 12 when she let me have my first drink).
So, where outsiders might see an uncaring, cold, daughter, in reality, I am hurt, saddened and worried sick about her. There is nothing I can do that I or my sis, haven't tried all these years to do for her. I will continue to pray for her and ask God to take care of her.
Well, this was not exactly a cheery topic for a Sunday morning, but, I had to get it out.
In other news:
I really "must" make myself do the weights workout this morning. In fact, when the boys leave for church, I will do them.
I'll post again later on.
***
8:23 a.m.Did 17 min. of "I Want Those Arms" workout.
***
7:55 PM:Well, the day went as planned. Spend some time with mom, try to put my blinders on where the unhealthy foods were concerned. I wish I could talk some sense into her:( God Bless her always.
Total points: 18.5.
