Since then, I have been trying to recapture that streak, the determination and commitment that I had back then, to no avail. The problem is that my body is changing with age, pre-menopausal changes. If I lose 1 pound in a week, I gained 2 the next. And to make things worse, because of my back and sciatica problems, I've been sedentary since November. It's just recent, (April) that I've been pushing myself to do more and walk.
In these last three years, I have challenged myself, dozens of times only to fail and feel worse about myself. I made a promise to myself that I wasn't going to put myself through that anymore, or create challenges to reach a goal weight on a specific day, abstain from sweets, or binges, or weigh myself weekly.
Yet, I feel kind of lost. Like going on the road with no destination. So, I've decided to try something different from the things I've tried before.
100 days of tracking my food. That's tracking my food no matter what, whether I stay on track or off. It's something different, with no pressure and no deprivation. It's starting out small with a goal that will not make me feel restricted in my eating, but will give me pride and confidence when I finish it.
So, today is Day 4.
***
5:07 PM: It turned out to be a beautiful day, 72 degrees right now, sunny and breezy, my type of day. It motivated me to go out and walk. I did another mile, 1.08 to be exact. The boys decided to go to the backyard and barbecue, I, being an "almost" vegetarian, ( I only eat beef hot dogs, rarely though) declined, and took advantage of this alone time to finish my book.
I have to say, "Relentless" by Dean Koontz, was very disappointing. It wasn't my type of thriller, I prefer a more realistic outcome, and that's all I'll say about it, don't want to spoil it for anyone.
On to my next book. I will update on my total calories, later on.
***
PM Update: Total for today: 1,327 calories.
